dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
