Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize