I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize