She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Hippo gnu deer
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
