Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize