There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
