I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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