So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Swine flu is the new snow day.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
