Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
