Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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