That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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