Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
