Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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