i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
