You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
