thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
