I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Randomize
