Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
