Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
