you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
