your thong is hanging out like whoa
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
