I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
