come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
