Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
