my vag is so smooth its legendary
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize