i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
