and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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