I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
