I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Randomize
