Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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