How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
