he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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