My nipple is on Facebook.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
