Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
