Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
