There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
