I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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