I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
