dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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