she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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