he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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