Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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