i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
