the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
