Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
