She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
