OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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