Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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