What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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