I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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