It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
