Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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