Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
