Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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