You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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