My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
