That's intense
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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