on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You smell like stripper and shame
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You ruined the universe
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
