she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
