Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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