your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
